Things Not To Say To Adoptive Parents

I saw this article and while I agree with all ten of them, I also have some of my own to add. I am adding this to our blog because education is important. Until we decided to adopt, we had not been around or involved in many adoptive families. We did not know what was offensive, but we are beginning to get a glimpse.

Adoption is definitely a mindset change. We have not had biological children, but I can tell you adoption is different, but the same. In the same way most people do not ask sensitive questions about pregnancy and child birth, the same respect should be given for adoption.

So here are a few things I would add to the list of things people should really think about before asking an adoptive parent. Some of the questions are completely innocent, and maybe even thought out, but I thought it would help for education to list them anyway so now you will know.

• Are you worried about their genes and if they will be smart, athletic, pretty?
• Do you know they will be black (or insert other race)?
• Adoption is rarely a rash decision and the family has likely thought about that. Also, be careful what words you use and topics of conversations you choose.
• Do you want your "own" children?
• This will be my child. You do not introduce your biological child as "This is Sally, my biological daughter" and an adopted child is no different. From the time we are matched with Little R, this child will be ours. Forever.
• Do you get to have a baby shower?
• A baby shower is for giving gifts to equip a family who is welcoming a new child into their lives. To ooh and ahh about precious little outfits and necessities. So, yes, that would be so kind for anyone to offer a baby shower, just as when someone is pregnant.
• That is great you are adopting, it is so much easier than having a child yourself.
• Unless you have adopted AND had biological children, you cannot make this comment. I will venture to say this is probably not true, but I will get back with you on that. So far, I have not had an adoptive/biological mom agree with this statement.
• How much did your child cost?
• If you are asking this question because you are considering adoption and really want to know logistics, phrase it different and you are fine. If you are asking because you feel called to donate to the family and want to know the need, phrase it different and you are fine. Otherwise, would you ask me how much my hospital bill for giving birth was or how much my house costs?

More than anything, if you have a concern for the decision an adoptive family is making, I urge you to prayerfully consider what and when you should say something. If the Lord leads you then by all means you should.

And to adoptive parents - we have to give more grace. For someone who has not adopted, many of their questions are sincere and not malicious, even if they hurt. We should seek to understand and educate more than get our feelings constantly hurt. (note I am still a work in progress too)

Do We Have News?

NO.

No news.

No emails. No calls.

76 days of waiting and we have nothing new to share.

I remember on day 1 we said "it could be months from now or tomorrow!" Definitely proving to be months. It is hard to be so close and yet so far away, or maybe not, because we do not know.

I am not a patient person. I like things to be done quickly and efficiently. I like to know and be in control. So it is only natural God would guide me through this process...so He can teach me.

I have told you how we are waiting, but today I read one of my favorite adoption blogs about how to wait...without your every breath and thought being adoption. Maybe that makes sense. And I will sure try it so I do not drive myself batty. A few things I would add...or make more personal to me...

• I started a fitness challenge with L and our friend T yesterday. We all have individual goals and consequences. My bright idea for mine was to eat only raw foods for breakfast and lunch. If I break it, I have to run a 5K by December. Two comments:
• UGH. Day 2 and I hate this. I want my Special K bar and SmartOnes...they weren't that bad anyway, right?
• I hate running. I can do this.
• Although I hate running, my new fitness goal is working out three times a week - and listening to my ipod while I do so I do not just spend my time day dreaming about Little R or what else I need for our trip.
• Time in the Word. I have not been a parent, but there is one thing I am sure of...MY time is going to change. I assume it will be harder to steal away even 30 minutes and spend it with the Lord. So more than ever, I want to make this a daily priority.
• No more reading the adoption Facebook group I am on. My brain says..."But what if you miss something you are really going to need to know?" - you know what brain? Facebook keeps stuff forever, which I am sure will haunt us all one day. That group I am on is no different.
• I am going to do my best to not talk about it. Trust me when I tell you...everyone will know when we have a referral, but until then...mums the word.
• Our two year wedding anniversary is coming up and I STILL have not completed our wedding album. Must do before I become a mom.
• Enjoy time with just me and L.

Yes this is mostly all about me. You may be wondering what about L's goals to keep him sane? See that is why I married him. He is calm, calm as the cucumber I had to eat for lunch today. Not to say he doesn't think about Little R and the process, but he is very good at waiting. God blessed me with him because he knew I needed patience in my life.

One piece of news I do have...we have tshirts...and we need to sell them to help bring Little R home. Don't forget to get one :)

(Psalm 27:14) Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

(Psalm 62:5) My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation {is} from him.

(Isaiah 40:31) But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew {their} strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; {and} they shall walk, and not faint.

(Habakkuk 2:3) For the vision {is} yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Adoption Gives Me Butterflies

With every piece of adoption paper we have received in the mail and every email we have read, trust me when I tell you that is alot, I get giddy. I get butterflies. It seems a little silly, I know. But I cannot help it.

This waiting phase is no different. We are finished with paperwork and just waiting. Well, we aren't JUST waiting...we are trying to wait well, but nonetheless, we are not doing much with adoption at the moment. Nothing tangible anyway...except selling tshirts...but I still have butterflies.

This morning L told me our adoption agency posted on Facebook they had referrals today for our child's country (yes we stalk their Facebook posts). Considering we are number three on the list, from what we can decipher, I was watching my phone like a hawk. Every buzz of an email on my blackberry had my attention. Again, butterflies. Yet nothing happened. We must not have been included in the referrals, yes more than one, for today.

So this means we are number one on the list now...right?!? Not necessarily. They do not update you on what number you are, for numerous reasons. And even if we are number one on the list, there could be someone behind us who gets matched before us given their situation and the child.

Ultimately there could be someone placed before us, because that is what God wants. Because Little R just isn't ready yet. Because we aren't ready yet. He has had His hands guiding the whole process and I know He will not stop now. So if that means we wait another week or another year...we trust Him. And I trust the longer I am waiting, the more butterflies He will give. I'll take that :)

In the meantime, I have a new addiction and I feel I must share. It is Pinterest. Not on yet? Need an invite? Just let me know.

You are probably thinking...I cannot even say that or I do not have time or that seems pointless. I said those things too and you will be proven wrong. It is awesome. Pinterest is really helping with ideas on Little R's room and the house. I love that I can look at my friend's boards and see what they are interested in (great for gifts ideas).

I only have two complaints:

1. Some people posts things without a link to where they found it - so I will see something really cute/delicious and not know how to buy/make it.
2. If I post all of my ideas to my boards and I copy pins my friends already have, eventually aren't we all going to end up with the same things and ideas?!?

Anyway...ignore the complaints and become addicted with me. It is worth it.

*Adoption wait day #57: you were full of emotions but I'll take the butterflies.

I cannot control this...WHAT!?!

If there is one thing I am learning, it is I cannot control things. This seems to be a recurring theme, but apparently adoption is not any different. I am confident it is in the Lord's plan for this adoption process to teach me I am not in control. As if I have not already learned that a time or two before.

We are waiting, and trying to wait well. To wait the way God tells us and wants us to wait. And most days this works well. Honestly we are pretty content with the waiting.

But then there are moments when it hits me. My child is alive. Little R needs a mommy and daddy...maybe even a Jada and Roxy. Grandparents and aunts to spoil him/her. And there is nothing we can do. Nothing we can control.

Then I am reminded...God is a better parent to Little R than we can ever hope to be. He promises to be a father to the fatherless, and that gives me hope. I was reminded of this Sunday when we sang a new song at church. I couldn't remember that song, but I found Chris Tomlin's song "Faithful" that reminds us of the same promise.

Faithful, forever You are faithful
Father to the fatherless
You uphold the one who feels forsaken
You are faithful, God...

Many people ask if the waiting is hard. I have talked about how we are waiting and that we haven't waited that long (48 days to be exact, but whose counting) <insert all you adoptive parents rolling your eyes and scoffing at the number> ...it is totally fine, I am sure I will one day too. But honestly this whole process has gone pretty quickly. We are blessed.

So is the waiting and no control part hard? Not if we rest in the fact that God is watching over Little R and has His hands all over this process.

And another way we plan to fill our waiting time is with college football. We both love it, even though we are a house divided, and the harassing has already begun.

PS...we have 70 shirts to sell to help with adoption costs! Did you get one? Do you know someone who wants one? Thanks to everyone who has already gotten one - please send us a picture of you in your shirt so we can show Little R one day!

Because You Know

"...Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

You may be tempted to close your browser at the very sight of that verse.


It is scary, yet it is real.

It is scary to me. How many things do I know of and do not act upon? What is God going to hold me accountable for when I stand before Him? How many homeless people do I overlook daily and not treat them as Christ? I was reminded in last week's sermon that every person I come in contact with I need to treat as Jesus. I need to live on mission.


The details below outline the cause of the orphan, but please do not mistake my words, there are many other tragedies in this world that we Christians need to be on mission for too. This one is most near and dear to my heart right now, so I want to share the truths with you.

We did not always know the truth. We knew there were orphans, but we did not know the facts. Through our months of research and questions we now know.

• There are an estimated 147 MILLION orphans in the world
• If 7% of Christians adopted ONE child, there would be no more orphans
• There are an estimated 160,000 orphans in the US ready for adoption
• If ONE family in HALF of the churches in the US adopted there would be no more US orphans
• Every 15 seconds another child in Africa becomes an AIDS orphan
• Every day 5,760 children in the world become orphans
• Every 2.2 seconds another orphan ages out with no family and no home
• Over 2 MILLION children become orphans each year in Africa alone

AND...we are called to do something...

• "Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; Maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Deliver the weak and needy from the hand of the wicked." Psalms 82:3-4
•  "Learn to do good, seek justice; correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause." Isaiah 1:17
• "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress." James 1:27
• "He defends the cause of the fatherless, giving food and clothing." Deuteronomy 24:19
• "He blesses those who provide for the orphan." Deuteronomy 14:29
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling, God sets the lonely in families . . .” Psalms 68:5-6

Because you know...what will you do?

For us, this adoption is not our "one and done" act. We want to continue advocating for the orphan in obedience and are brainstorming and praying about what that means for our family.

You may be thinking...I cannot adopt, it is too expensive, my child may not look like me, I already have kids, there are "special" people cut out for that...and the list goes on. Trust me, we are not special. We are not doing it the traditional way. We did not have the money. Our child will have a different color skin. But God called us to and we are obeying. You can too if that is what His plan is for you. He does not call you to do something and leave you in the dark to figure it out. He provides. You step out in faith, even when people disagree and think you are crazy, and He does awesome things.

If He is not leading you to adoption, here is a short list of things I have found where we can serve the orphan.

• Help put an end to the need for adoption 
• Adoptive Mothers Against Adoption
• Shop! Buy items that go to fight the cause for orphans
• 147 Million Orphans
• Cupcake Shirts
• Donate to organizations
• SixtyFeet
• Sell Cupcakes
• Support a family who is adopting financially or with a commit to pray
• Get involved with your local church and setup funds for these families
• Volunteer at a local orphanage
• Sponsor a child
• Father's Heart
• World Vision
• Mentor a foster child in your community that you can develop a lasting bond with so they do not spend holidays and such alone after they age out

And there is much more to be done outside of the orphan. We are working on that too...a family in progress!

Please feel free to contact us if you want to chat adoption.

...and off my soapbox now. :)

Adoption Update: We received our USCIS approval and now are purely waiting on our referral for Little R. This means that most paperwork is done...kinda...for the time being.

How We Wait

We are waiting. Waiting for USCIS approval. Waiting for a picture and medical report of our child. Waiting to know if we are going to be parents in two months or a year. Waiting to decide on nursery decor until we know how old and what gender our child is. There is lots of waiting going on.

However our waiting, thus far, has been nothing in the midst of the adoption world. Some people wait years for their adoptions to be complete. Some wait months to get on a wait list and are told they are number 80 on the list. So we have already been blessed with a smooth and surprisingly quick process. So I am not complaining, we are actually very grateful and realize this is rare.

Still, this type A, soon-to-be momma has things to do, lines to check off my to do list, and yet we wait. The only action we do is check the mailbox each day hoping for the letter of approval from USCIS or our email waiting for a notice of a match from our agency.

How do we wait?!? We...

...answer lots of questions about waiting and a child we know nothing about. We try to be patient with people who ask less than appropriate questions.

...get shots, that really hurt.

...start buying clothes for our trip.

...design a t-shirt and sell it to raise money for this cost that is adoption. (check them out and share with your friends...we are getting a new order in next week) :)

....read parenting books and try to educate ourselves.

....pray. Pray for Little R, his/her family, the people that are taking care of Little R, our agency, our judge, our lawyer, Little R's salvation one day. Pray that God would give us some divine wisdom on how to be parents since we are clueless.

...continue to be humbled by people's generosity.

...try to enjoy this time just being us. L couldn't take a real vacation this year given work, but we are enjoying the days we can sleep in and just focus on our marriage. Cherishing the time we have been given.

...dreaming/day-dreaming about our child, the day we meet Little R and what he/she looks like.

...brainstorming on how we continue to advocate for the orphan even after this adoption is over. Trying to figure out how we can make adoption possible for other families.

...do day to day life.

...ultimately, lean on Christ and all He offers us. We know His timeline and plan is so perfect and we are grateful we can trust in Him.

My soul, wait silently for God alone; my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation.  Psalm 62:5-6

Yard Sale: Success!

Every Wednesday our community group meets. We meet to catch up on the week, worship, and spend time together in the Bible. This Wednesday was a little different, but such a selfless and true visualization of our friends being the hands and feet of Jesus as they served us and Little R with yard sale setup (we changed it to a yard sale because there was no way it would all fit in the garage!). We all gathered at the Starnes' home to bring the yard sale donations we had collected and begin pricing them.

L and I were completely overwhelmed with the amount of things that were donated. The donations were from family, friends, and complete strangers. The items ranged from things destined for a yard sale to many things that were too nice and the donors could have made a real profit on, but donated anyway.

Just a glimpse of the donations

Our dear community group spent hours pricing and organizing things in the intense Texas heat. Then Saturday morning, we got up super early and met again to put everything in the yard for sale. In the midst of the sale, we also got to share our story. We met people who had also adopted and even had connections in our child's homeland, people who wanted to adopt someday, and even one lady who was confused and rubbed my stomach to say hi to Little R :) Oh the many joys of adoption - I immediately looked to the first friend I could find to confirm I did not look as if Little R, at any age, could be inside there. Normal girl behavior, right?!?

WE RAISED OVER $1,500!!!!!!!!!!!

This sale was a blessing in so many different ways. There are not words to express how grateful we are to everyone who donated, shopped, our dear community group, and God. Little R is so evidently loved and we feel so supremely blessed.

We took many pictures and video, so someday, Little R will know all everyone did to bring him/her home. Little R will be able to see and feel the love we all had before we ever knew him/her.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

PS...you can get a sneak peek at our t-shirts here!

Garage Sale for Adoption

A few months ago I shared how blessed we were with our community in Austin here. A major part of that community is our group from church that we live life with and see weekly. L and I have been continually amazed by the outpouring of love, support, and selflessness these dear friends have shown us, especially in our journey of adoption. They graciously offered to host a garage sale for our adoption, all proceeds going to help bring Little R home.

If you are free, in the Austin area, and in need of some new things, we would love to see you there!

The location of the sale is 13217 Broadmeade Avenue Austin, TX 78729. The sale will be THIS Saturday, July 23rd, from 6am-530pm.

Some items that will be for sale:

• coffee table
• computer (just the tower, but in working condition!)
• 5.1 home theater sound system
• Jay Turser guitar
• GE black dishwasher
• home decorations
• rugs
• microwave
• Graco strollers
• crib
• lamps
• taupe chairs and ottoman set (like new and modern)
• baby gates
• clothes

...and much more!

To our community group,

You mean more to us that you can possibly know. Little R will be so blessed to know you and your children. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your daily encouragement and helping make this adoption possible. May the Lord richly bless you.

Love,

L and M

His timeline eh?

We thought referral wait mode was far away, like months. Some days it seemed like we may never get there. We have not adopted, or known anyone that has adopted from our agency, so we were just going off generic timelines and assumptions. Then the email came. The one that says our referral wait time starts now. Our home study paperwork was completed, and we have almost everything for the dossier, but the paperwork is not complete. But it will be soon. And now we find out, that even before it is complete, we could be referred at any moment. That moment could be in an hour or months from now. But it could happen.

I think my heart stopped for a few minutes. Tears came in a flood of happy, scared, excited, worried emotions. I cannot compare being pregnant to this process, or vice versa, because I have not done both. But it felt like, I think, it would feel if the doctor told me I was pregnant and soon, one day, we could see a sonogram picture. I quickly called L and he was so perfectly excited, the way you think your husband would be when you tell him you are having a child, even though he already knew, this just makes it so real.

It is all so weird. Just last week I was telling L it felt like we weren't really even in the process because our home study was taking longer than normal and we weren't "doing" anything. Basically, I like to be in control and nothing was happening. And then a few days later, a surprise like this speeds everything up, mostly, my emotions.

Yes, it could still be months before we know our child. But just to know our agency is working on our match is very exciting.

It was really easy for satan to start with his fear and anxiety games after something like this, but we were able to use today to praise the Lord. To continually commit this journey to Him and His timeline. This is such a roller coaster and I am so glad He is leading it.

If you would like to join us in prayer, here are a few things we are praying...

• For our agency to have discernment, wisdom, and God's leading above all
• Little R's comfort, health, safety, food, family
• Specifically, Little R's mom. Somewhere, someday soon, a mother will have to leave her child, and it breaks my heart. More than anything, we wish that was not the case. I weep for her. We pray she is made complete in Christ and knows His love.
• God's glory and purpose in this all, above all

"Daddy's gonna buy you...

...lots of electronics..." Yesterday we were sitting on the couch answering fifty, yes literally fifty, more questions on why we wanted to adopt and our lifestyle. One question was "In what ways do you feel it is necessary to provide for your child?" L immediately began singing the lullaby, "Hush little baby, don't say a word..." and added his own lingo into the song. If you know L at all, you know he LOVES electronics and gadgets. If you know his father at all, you know where this love stemmed from, so I believed his statement one hundred percent. Boy or girl, infant or toddler, he will be buying Little R all kinds of electronics, I just know it.

It is times like these when I remember how lucky I am to be married to L. By this time, we have completed dozens of pages of paperwork, and it can be overwhelming, but L constantly finds a way to make these situations fun and lighten my serious demeanor - what a blessing!

Our home study visit went very well and now we are waiting on the final home study paperwork from our social worker. We also finished our 10 hours of online education classes this weekend. Next, we will move on to our dossier paperwork. We are hoping to be finished with all of our paperwork and in referral wait mode by September, if that is the Lord's will. This could be longer or shorter, but we know God has the perfect timing figured out.

They are coming to study our home...

This Monday is our home study. What is a home study you ask? From what I gather, it is something that everyone who is adopting freaks out about. A social worker must come in your home and make sure it is suitable for our child, months before our child enters our home, months before we even know Little R.  Our house needs to be clean. Really clean. And a few safety things have to be completed.  Last week I went from shopping online for clothes to ordering carbon monoxide detectors and outlet plugs (another step to parenthood)! Then the social worker will sit down with us, together and individually, for THREE hours.

This whole process is full of mixed emotions.  It feels as if this home study has come so quickly, maybe because I wondered when we would ever get here.  It's as if we can finally lift our head's from the mounds of paperwork and talk to someone, which is refreshing, before we go back to the stack. Our lives are currently so hectic and the to do list is oh so long, but I am thankful God is sovereign - that He knew what our house and heart looked like long before He asked us to adopt our child. That He knows Little R and exactly how long we must wait before meeting him/her at the perfect time.

And in the midst of this ongoing preparation...I sit here and wonder, wonder what Little R is up to today...

Do you want biological children?

This has been the most popular question since we announced we were adopting, understandably, and the answer is yes, but please let me explain.

I acted as an adult at the age of five.  Playing with dolls and pretending I was their mother was the least of it.  I "mentored" a classmate in kindergarten - what teacher lets a five year old mentor by the way? One day I played sick so I could stay home to call her mother and discuss how she needed to work with her daughter on her alphabet; sorry for that embarrassment mom and dad.  My poor sister, who is six years younger, has always had a bossy older sister.  If only I could count the times my mom told me "I am her mother, not you."  It has always been in my heart and soul to be a mother, even at a young age. I have dreamed of the days when I would hold my child, much like I dreamed of my wedding day.  After L and I got married, I began wondering what our children would look like, what features they would have of his and mine.  And that has not changed.  We very much want to have biological children, if that is the Lord's plan for us and will bring Him glory.

So if we want to have biological children, shouldn't we try that first, and if we cannot conceive, THEN choose adoption?  Well, you see, God chose adoption for us now.  He has so evidently laid this on our hearts and we are being obedient to His calling.  We believe He will take care of the rest, and bring biological children in His timing, tomorrow or 30 years from now.  And yes, that would make me 56 years old, but have you read about Sarah in the Bible? 

So our thinking and dreaming has shifted some for the time being.  I am not wondering if our child will be lucky enough to have L's tan skin and curly hair (yes for those of you who have only seen his buzz cut, those hairs were precious blond curls as a child). 

Baby L

Our dreaming has changed from ourselves, to our child, that is likely conceived.  If he/she is not born yet, prayers that their mother is able to access clean water and food, that she is comforted and loved, that even in a third world country she is able to somehow receive care.  If he/she is born that they are safe and have access to care, that their mother is comforted as her heart must be breaking at the thought of leaving her child, and that they do not have to sleep on the floor.  I think about whether they are consoled when they cry and if they have enough to eat.  My mind is constantly coming up with new details to pray for.  I dream of a dark skinned baby that is perfect; perfect because God has chosen them for our family. 

As we wait for the paper progression, we are left dreaming of our child, dreaming of the moment we see them and embrace them.  Thinking of the ways they will light up our family and accomplish so much.  Hoping for the day they come to know the Lord as their Savior.  We still have all the same dreams, biological or not, this is our child and we so eagerly await the joining of him/her to our family.

Coincidence? I think not.

As we began researching adoption we prayed, and prayed, and prayed.  We believed that the Lord was laying this on our hearts and providing the way, but this was a huge decision to make and we had so many questions.  Should we really adopt before having biological children? What country was He calling us to? Was it possible financially?  Should we choose an agency or go independent?  What agency? How would our friends and family feel?

So we did the only thing we knew to do, we prayed, researched, joined an adoption group, and prayed more.  The week of March 7th we began to ask God for real confirmation, like Moses and the burning bush, could He please confirm this to us in a way that we could not deny.  And oh did He ever!  The next seven days were filled with more confirmation than either of us have received, and it still continues.  We want to share all He did so glory can be given to Him, so you can understand why we could not deny this process at this time, and also to encourage you through all He has shown us.  Ask God and He will deliver.

• This may seem trivial to many of you, but that week two of our favorite television shows were on adoption.  Adoption was not just mentioned, it was the topic of the entire show.
• We saw an interview with Sarah Silverman in which she was asked about having biological children - she then advocated for the children of Africa and adoption, not because she cannot have biological children, but because there are 145 million orphans in this world that need a family.
• We received an unexpected bonus check that was for the exact amount we needed to start the adoption process.  This check was unexpected because it was supposed to be paid two weeks prior so we assumed we were not getting it, but then it appeared, the exact week we were asking for confirmation.
• People at our work places began asking about biological children and we were given the opportunity to share our hearts for adoption.
• I found out a coworker of mine, whom I had not known until now, had just completed two Ugandan adoptions just a few months before.  There were only 62 Ugandan adoptions in 2010 in total.  He also started a nonprofit for children in Uganda, please check it out at http://www.sixtyfeet.org/.
• Our dear friend/cousin and my accountability partner Rachel V. got her hair cut by someone who was adopted and shared their story with her that week.
• Literally everywhere we turned was adoption.

As the weeks progress, God keeps giving...

• I was working a trade show in Baltimore a few weeks later and a lady walked up asking if our video solution worked in Africa because she was moving there.  I asked her why she was moving to Africa and she went on to say her husband was working for the US Embassy there.  I shared our adoption story and she gave me all her contact information saying they would help us in any way possible.  This is huge because often getting your child's US Visa is a hard task.
• My mom found out there are two previous missionaries (from our child's homeland) living in my small hometown, of all places, Mabank, TX.  They travel back on mission trips each year.
• A children's choir (from our child's homeland) performed at our church on Easter (talk about tears!).

There are so many more, but these are the ones I was able to write down.  Some of these things may seem like coincidence to you, but to us, they are so very evidently the Lord.  If they had happened over the span of our lives, maybe coincidence, the fact they have happened the moment we began specifically asking for them, so undeniably the Lord.  So even without having all the answers, we have no doubt this is His will, so we move forward in Him.

It is so awesome to serve a King that not only lays things on our heart for His Kingdom, but so confidently provides the way. We are excited to see all the Lord continues to do and teach us through this process.  We are confident this adoption will be used to make us more holy for Him, and for that, we are so grateful.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.  Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?  If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

Matthew 7:7-11

Our Adoption Announcement

Dear friends and family,

We wanted to share some very important news with you…WE ARE PREGNANT…paper pregnant that is! :)  Through months of the Lord’s leading and a great amount of prayer and discernment, we have begun the process of adopting a child internationally. Last week we submitted our first application and paperwork to our agency, of what we are told will be minimal compared to the months ahead, thus the term “paper pregnant”.  We received news today that we were approved! After much prayer, we have told the agency our application is for a boy or girl under the age of three.We are estimating that the process will take 12 months to complete, but ultimately we are trusting in the Lord’s timing and provision as we move forward. 

We know what you might be thinking, “Can they not have biological children?” – the answer is, we have no idea because we have not tried.  God has given us both a passion for adoption and to move forward with the adoption of our child at this time, before having biological children, so we are following His lead.  We are honored God has chosen us for this task to be parents and excited about the journey that lies ahead.  We trust that His plan for our family is far better than anything we could plan ourselves and we are blessed beyond belief with the life He continues to pour out before us. 

You also may be thinking “why adoption?”  We believe that Christ has so graciously chosen to adopt us into His kingdom – in John 14:18 Jesus says to His disciples at The Last Supper, “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.”  We believe Christ has adopted us and will complete that adoption when He takes us to Heaven one day.  His adoption of us has very much influenced our passion to give an orphan a forever family.  We also believe He calls us to care for orphans, and in our case has called for our care to be adoption - James 1:27 says “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  Over the past few months God has so graciously confirmed that this is His will for our family in too many ways to count and we are confident He has ordained every step of this journey. 

If you feel led, we would be honored for you to join us in praying for this journey and our child.  Here are a few of the things the Lord has laid on our hearts:

• May every step of this process bring glory to God alone – that every breath that is taken in this process would be led by and prompted by Him.
• The international adoption process can be cumbersome, but our prayer is that God would prepare the hearts of our future judge and both US and international officials that handle our adoption.
• Preparation for parenthood, likely of a toddler!  Our parents have both greatly exceeded the call of Godly parents, which we are so grateful for, and hope we can be half of what they have been to us.
• International adoption is very costly – prayers for God to provide these finances in His timing.
• Our child – it is likely that our child is conceived, if not already born.  We are praying for his/her safety, food and clean water, health, someone who loves Jesus to love on him/her, and that God would place him/her in the perfect place for our agency to know them.
• Above all, and most importantly, that God’s perfect Will would be done and we would be obedient to all He calls us to do.

We are grateful for each and every one of you.  Thank you for being such wonderful family and friends.

In Christ’s Love,
The R Family