Fall With Our Boy

This fall has been crazy and I have been less than prompt on updates. The good news is, it has been a great fall. David experienced Halloween, Thanksgiving, and lots in between for the first time at home and each and every celebration was precious. As you can imagine, taking in so many of our "American" traditions over the last seven months could be quite overwhelming for anyone, but David has done remarkably well and truly enjoys each new thing that comes his way, even when he does get overwhelmed a bit.

Here is our fall highlights in pictures:

pumpkin patch fun

visiting aunt bebe at school

pumpkin carving

Mickey Mouse for Halloween

first Baylor football game

riding thomas the train

first thanksgiving

petting zoo with ugandan buddy moses

playing in the leaves

And our BIG fall news and the real reason I am so behind on blogging...

WE ARE PREGNANT!

David will become a big brother in July 2013! More to come on this in the next few posts. A great and fun-filled fall indeed. God is so good.

The Hard

Before we adopted I was obsessed with other families who had adopted. I stalked their blogs and their homecoming videos (you can view our video here!). I loved seeing their beautiful families and hearing about all God had done to bring them to that point. I anxiously waited for the day that would be our family.

And now that day is here. And God has given us the most incredible gift I could ever imagine. It is beautiful the way He led us here and with a face like this, who can help but gush over his cuteness?!? I mean, come on.

When people told me adoption was not for the faint of heart or wusses, I thought they meant the entire process up to the airport. Then I thought everything was...happily ever after if you will.

But the truth is, not every single moment is perfect. We are getting to experience something incredible. Our gracious Father is healing and growing our son and even us at the same time. It is beautiful and rare. But it is not always easy (who knew this parenting stuff was hard?!?).

When my boy wakes up sad in the middle of the night and I lay in his room patting his back, I wonder what he is thinking and why he cannot sleep. Tears from the thoughts and frustration roll down my face. It breaks every stinking piece of my heart to know what my son has to heal from.

When the nurse at his consultation tells me she needs to see my adoption court order to prove I am his parent, I go all mama bear on her and secretly want to punch her, while I am crying my eyes out in the middle of a doctors office and trying to explain why it isn't right for her to ask for that. Is my insurance carrier agreeing to pay for him not enough proof? If I brought in a white child who looked like me, how would you know it was really my legal child anymore than D is? If you are going to require this of children who do not look the same as their parents, shouldn't it be required of everyone? It. Breaks. My. Heart. And makes my flesh so very angry.

When D acts out, like any two year old, I still run through a long list of possible reasons he could be acting the way he is that are not typical "two year old". Reasons that come from a past that no child should have to endure.

When I discipline D I see God looking at me and saying the same things. Really, the same things a two year old is learning? YES. Just in different ways, but the same. I am a hurting child in need of grace.

When I think about the possibility of future biological children, I cringe a bit. If God were to bless us with biological children, that would be amazing and we would be so grateful, but how would that change everything? It breaks my heart to think people would assume D was just a friend playing with my children, that he is not my son, my first born.

When people stare incessantly or ask ridiculous questions, I usually sin. I become angry and hurt. And usually not just for that moment, I often ponder it for the whole day. It is ugly I know, but the truth. Deep down I know I have to get this under control and quick. I have to be strong and laugh things off for my boy, but IT IS HARD.

When we are still testing for a parasite after treating it for over six months, my heart aches for all the people in our world without clean water. We have all the luxuries we do here in America, but everyone in the world does not have access to clean water? Are you kidding me?!? Maybe I would actually vote in this election if one of them would promise clean water to every single person on earth.

Maybe there are moments that are hard. But it is worth it because HE IS AWESOME.

Seeing my boy's smiling face as he heals and grows outweighs anything else. God could not have blessed us with a more amazing child. I am humbled that He would allow me to be D's mother and I thank Him daily for that.

This journey is making me more holy for Him. He is using it to teach me more than I ever imagined it would. He certainly knows what He is doing and I am grateful.

PS...sort of related...if you want a good laugh, watch this video called #$%@ People Say To Transracial Families - enjoy! :)

Three Years With My Love

October 17th marked three years of marriage for us.

Three years ago we stood before God, our friends, and family to make one of the most important commitments we will ever make. A commitment to God, a commitment to one another. Neither of us would have ever imagined, at that very moment, our son was already conceived. He was alive and thousands of miles away.

Fast forward three years and we now have him home. He is the joy of our lives. God has used this adoption process and parenthood to bring us closer than ever.

By far, we both agree the highlight of our third year of marriage was being in Uganda and adopting our boy. God did amazing things for our marriage and family in those six weeks. Amazing things that only He can do.

each year on the steps of hotel where our reception was held (drastically more casual/tired in year 3...kid much?)

Marriage is not always easy. It takes a lot of work and time, which is even more difficult to steal away when you are new parents. But every year when I reflect on the past, one thing remains, no matter what, I love L more than I did the year before. I love him more than I ever imagined I could.

I am so thankful for God's faithfulness and blessing these past three years and excited for all year four has in store.

Six Months With Our Boy

Six months ago today we met our precious boy and became a family of three. My favorite moment was when D ran into my arms when they told him we were his mommy and daddy. I remember his excitement overriding his sick and feverish body. I remember his joy and contentment in being in our arms.

I am going to do my best to write six month updates on here so he can one day see all God has done in his life and so we can all continue to reflect and be grateful for how graciously the Lord has blessed us...and how plain AWESOME He is.

Six months ago D...

• weighed 28 pounds and stood 30 inches tall. Today he is 33 pounds and 36 inches tall. That is five pounds and six inches in ONLY six months!!
• wore a size 5 shoe, his new tennis shoes are a size 9.
• wore 18 month clothes, he is now growing out of his 2T and into 3T/4T.
• was sick with a cold and fever, today his body is continuing to heal and grow.
• knew three words in English - mommy, daddy, and no. Today he knows too many words to count, is saying 3-5 word sentences on his own, and knows his ABCs.
• had a beautiful Ugandan accent, and still does!!! (YAY!) I am often his interpreter.
• sported a cute little toddle when he tried to run, much to this momma's dismay, that is turning into a big boy run.  
• was terrified of dogs...especially the ones he met when he arrived in his new home here in Texas. Today the dogs run from him and Roxy is his best buddy. He has even learned how to help by feeding her and putting her in the kennel. 
• had likely never seen a television, today he likes watching Barney and Super Why.

Today D...

• has memorized his first bible verse: "Love one another." 1 John 3:23
• can recognize all letters and single digit numbers, as well as count to 30. 
• has a favorite book - Pete the Cat! - he knows this and Brown Bear by heart. 
• loves doing laundry and cooking - typical two year old right?!? If he catches me doing the laundry without him he gets upset - hoping this lasts forever. 
• loves to exercise with us - even tries imitating situps and pushups on his own.
• asks "where did the sun/moon go?" as soon as we get in the car everyday - then says "night, night sun/moon". He is also into asking where everyone/thing went, all the time.
• says "mommy" an average of 2000 times a day.
• is in the middle of potty training.
• has started calling me "mom" sometimes. 
• loves cars, trains, anything with wheels, and all animals. 
• loves raw broccoli and has even started requesting it at meals.
• is such a singer and dancer. He loves listening to his Ugandan music. One of his favorite songs is Forever Reign...my heart beams when he sings it...he learned it from us singing whatever we could think of when we would rock him to sleep in Uganda. I love that he picked it up and sings it now. He also loves singing Amazing Grace and Wheels on the Bus.

Referral Picture   -   First Day We Met   -   First Day Home   -   Today

I am in awe of all God has done. God fulfills His promises. He does set the lonely in families. We were all made to be loved and adored and our Father above does that in the best ways. 

I am so honored to call this precious boy my son. He lights up our lives and is a bigger blessing than I could have ever imagined. I love him with my whole heart and I cannot wait to see how God continues to heal, restore, and grow him. I know the Lord has big plans for his life and I am so grateful He has allowed us this time to be with him. 

Could you imagine if we had said no? If when our first agency turned out to be unethical we would have just walked away and "tried to have biological kids first"? What if through all the waiting and the hard, we would have just given up? I am so glad God did not let us. Is the Lord calling you to something? DO IT. Because even if it is hard, it is more worth it than you can imagine.

Oh Uganda, I Miss You

We experienced several "bumps" in our process while we were in Uganda. We were ONLY there six weeks, which in hindsight is not long at all, many people have had to stay MUCH longer. But when you are a picky eater and becoming a first time parent to a two year old, and expected to possibly be there only three weeks or so...all you want is to get to the closest McDonald's and your momma.

As I have written in all of our in-country updates on here, there was so much that was great about Uganda, but after week three, we were ready to get home and start our new life.

I remember the guard at the airport asking L when we would be back and him saying "A long, long, long time from now." (probably not the best answer at the time but really the truth of how we felt) I remember being on the phone with my friend who was stateside and telling her I would never understand why all these adoptive parents on the facebook groups talk about how they long for Uganda and just cannot wait to go back. I thought they were crazy. I even remember saying that a few weeks after being home.

I felt guilty. I felt like of course I was supposed to miss this wonderful place, my son's homeland, but I just did not at first.

But I do now. A little over four months removed and I am that crazy person now. I miss it all. So much. And I would go back today if I could. Africa and Uganda stole a piece of my heart they will have forever.

I miss the red dirt. The kind that would get between this "I hate my feet to be dirty" person's toes and drive me nuts...I miss it. I miss the food...the pizza and the chipati, the rolex. I miss sitting on the guesthouse lawn with my family of three.

I miss the beautiful people. Almost every person we encountered had a joy from the Lord like nothing I have seen before. Not because they were rich in money, or had all the health in the world, but because they love and trusted the Lord with their whole heart, no matter the circumstance.

I miss the person who drove us most, S. He became part of our family. In those first few days with D he helped us translate, cope, and understand. I miss his smile, genuine care for our family, and joy.

I miss any random person walking up to us and being able to speak D's native language. Oh what I would give for the hard rainstorms that would terrify me then.

More than anything, I miss being right smack dab in the middle, in the thick of it, and relying completely on my Lord. I miss being closer to Him than I ever have been in my life. I crave the closeness and reliance I felt then. Because when you are in the situation we were, and your hands are tied, all you can do is depend on the Lord and His plan, you have nothing else to hold you together. And that is beautiful.


I miss Uganda for how wonderful and beautiful of a place it is, and I miss it for the amazing ways God used it to teach and grow me so much. I cannot wait to go back someday.

Finalizing Our Adoption

Since the day we laid eyes on our boy's picture, we knew he was a Radtke. From the day I first held him, almost five months ago, I knew he would be ours forever. Some how, some way, he would. The only way I can come close to explaining those feelings is with a recent quote from Jen Hatmaker's blog; every time I read it I get chills because nothing will ever compare to the emotions but this quote comes pretty close:

"... you realize God can put a vicious fight in you for a kid without your blood coursing through his veins. Those early doubts about loving a child without the helpful instincts of biology are put to rest. Of course, you don’t know this kid yet, but you love him in your heart, in your bones. You’ll fight like hell to get to him. You can’t think of anything else. You are obsessed. You dream about him like you did when you were pregnant. You realize that when God said He sets the lonely in families, He meant it, and He doesn’t just transform the “lonely” but also the “families.” He changes us for one another. God can create a family across countries, beyond genetics, through impossible circumstances, and past reason."

However, to make it legal, we had to go to court this week. D has still had his full given Ugandan name until this Monday, August 27th...on that day, he 'legally' became a Radtke. 

To say the finalization court hearing was smooth and simple compared to what we went through in April is an understatement. It took about five minutes and then just like that we had papers with D's new name on them. His name by ours, a legal Radtke FAMILY. 

The cutest part of the court hearing was when we appeared before the judge and were sworn in. All morning we had been coaching D to say "I'm a Radtke!" As the judge had us raise our right hands, D without prompting waved both of his hands in the air and said "I'm a Radtke!" over and over...TOO PRECIOUS FOR WORDS.

I'm A Radtke!!

Our family with the judge

Afterwards we celebrated with some yummy Mexican food and cupcakes with D's new initials on them. It was a fun day and we are so blessed to have our adoption process complete. God is faithful and SO good.

What's next? Getting D's new birth certificate, passport, and COC (fancy acronym for a lot more paperwork, money, and another piece of paper).

To all of our family and friends who have walked this road with us, thank you thank you thank you for all of your love and support. You have embraced our journey and David so wonderfully, we are blessed.

From Corporate America to Stay at Home Mom

Over the past five and a half years I have been blessed to work for a wonderful company in the corporate world. A company that gave me great opportunities and was the foundation of my career. Walking away from great opportunities is not easy.

As we spent time in Uganda our day in and day out purpose was to bond with our new son. Because neither of us were working, it gave us the opportunity to completely focus on our family. In this, L took on more of the provider/leader role, and me more the caregiver role. It was wonderful. It was natural and just happened.

I remember sitting with L in Uganda one afternoon as the sun was beginning to set while D played in our guesthouse yard and talking about how it felt nice to be in our "real" roles. The roles that God ordained for us. For husband and wife. How it felt great to be 100% devoted to D's adjustment and growth. To back track and bit (and be a little vulnerable, which is always fun! not.), When L and I met I was an independent woman so when we got married submitting and letting him lead in everything was not a piece of cake for me. Not that it always is today, but it is clear God is using this season to graciously teach me all He wants me to be as a wife and mother. So through all of this, we decided for us to be completely devoted to D and his adjustment, and what God was calling us to, I needed to quite my job and stay at home.

On May 21st I spent my first day home alone with D. D is an awesome kid...really he is. But boy do I ever remember my sweet husband walking through the door that day and the joy it brought me. I also remember sitting at the kitchen table and questioning if this is really what we needed to do. Was I really supposed to stay home?

Up until the moment I called my boss to resign, and even after he answered the phone, I went back and forth. But remember that new submission thing I am learning? L wasn't going back and forth. He knew what God wanted for our family and down deep I did too. With tears running down my face I sobbed like a baby and told my boss I was not coming back to work. He was so gracious, understanding, and kind but I felt like I had just broken up with my long time boyfriend "work". It hurt. My heart was broken. I was sad about the friends I might never see again and the opportunities I was passing up. I was terrified about the future. I was grieving a piece of me that was gone.

But in the days and weeks that have past I have been reminded what a sweet, sweet blessing it is to be at home with my boy all day, everyday. My husband works his tail off for our family and nothing has ever been sexier or sweeter to me. My days may have went from conference calls and over-glorified travel to goldfish and Barney, but it is so, so, so worth it. It is worth it to be in God's plan even when your heart has to break and you have to take a leap of faith. He is faithful and He does know what He is doing. It is worth it to see God growing and adjusting my little boy so well. It is worth it.

Many people ask how I am doing and if it is all I thought it would be? I am doing good and count myself extremely blessed to be at home with D. It is something I always dreamed of doing and I am loving being in that dream. It is WAY more exhausting than I could have ever imagined...emotionally, mentally, physically. A friend posted this article and I thought the writer explained it well for all of you who are confused why it is exhausting :)

I have no idea how long God will have me at home, another month or years, but I am so very grateful for this time and I could not imagine it any other way.

Disclaimer: I do not believe every mother should stay at home and if they do not then God is not teaching them these things, this is just the way He is teaching me right now.

First Moments At Home

We have been home for a little over two months now. I would be lying if I did not say we were a little scared of how we would all adjust, however, the Lord has so graciously answered our prayers and our transition has gone so smoothly.
After the airport we spent the next week or so with our families meeting and getting to spend time with D. My mom and sister were a Godsend as they stayed for awhile to help with things around the house while we recovered physically and emotionally.

l's parents

nana and uncle michael

tia and tio

my family with the souvenirs they brought back from their cruise

We took D for a lot of his firsts once we were back in Texas: first Chick-fil-a, first shopping trip, first indoor playground, first stroller rides, and much more.

first bath

first painting

first shopping trip

first grocery store fun

first stroller outing with daddy

first doctors appointment

After a week home D was already sleeping in his own bed, in his own room! He loves his room and we are so grateful God allowed for this transition so we could all get good rest.

The dogs were a big feat to be conquerd...every time they came close he would scream like a dinosaur was about to eat him...but after a few days he warmed up to Jada and after a week he was loving on Roxy girl. Now they run from him as he chases them around the house.

week 1 huge progress

His favorite toy was immediately a little red lego waggon, he still pulls that around the house daily.

After being home a week L went went back to work. I was so sad and nervous about this. Sad mostly because I loved spending every second of everyday with him for seven weeks, Uganda had brought us closer than ever before. I am so grateful for the time God used in Uganda to strengthen our marriage. But I was nervous too. Taking care of a two year old all of the sudden was the most exhaustion I had felt in my life, WITH him to help, so I was terrified to think what might happen to me if I was left alone all day. But nonetheless, here I am still surviving :)

After being home a month we made the decision for me to leave my job and stay at home with D indefinitely. This was a hard decision, more on that in another post soon.

These first few months have been filled with many firsts for both us and D. We have had the joy of exposing him to so many wonderful things and getting into a routine of our new normal for our family. We are so blessed with this life God has so graciously given us. I cannot imagine our life without D in it...he brings us so much joy and I am humbled that God would bless us in such a way.

Answers to some common questions we get:

How is he really doing?
Wonderful. Better than we could have dreamed. Really, truly. He is so smart, learning so fast. He is the most joyful child I have been around.

Do people make rude comments?
Yes. And it hurts more than I could have ever imagined because I hurt for him. It has been confirmed, I do have a Mama Bear instinct inside me. We get the looks everyday, all day. We get people who make what they think are nice comments, but really they still sting.

Do you want to have your "own" children soon?
FOR THE LOVE...HE IS OUR OWN. He is ours through and through. People even agree he looks like us for crying out loud ;) In many ways our new family is just just three and a half months old...right now keeping up with a two year old and enjoying him is what is on our radar...we will see what God has in store and when He wants to bless us with more children, biologically or through adoption.

How wonderful that you rescued him. He is so blessed to have you.
I know what people mean by this, but truly we did not rescue him. We did nothing. God gave him a family and gave us a son. In many ways, God rescued us by this journey. We are so very blessed to call him our son.

Is he learning English well?
YES. This precious boy is so very, very smart. He already knows so much and has even started trying to say full sentences. One lady in his church class told me he is far above most children his age verbally and she would have never known he has only been learning English since April. *insert blush from proud momma* He is a rock star.

How are you adjusting?
It has been an adjustment for sure. My sleep schedule is much different and going anywhere alone is a new favorite luxury (one day after we were first home I had to go to Walgreens and I just sat in the car, alone, with my reese's peanut butter cups and enjoyed the quiet). But, I LOVE my boy to pieces. It is really hard to even explain all the love I have for him. It is a pure joy to be able to watch him learn and grow so much so fast. So, all the good far outweighs the adjusting.

Week 6 In Uganda

We started week six in Uganda with a trip to the source of the Nile in Jinja. We left early in the morning and made the two hour or so drive. Along the way L bought meat on a stick again and it was literally a whole chicken leg!

meat on a stick

We arrived at the Source of the Nile in Jinja and it was absolutely breathtaking, the whole city of Jinja was really. We took a boat to the actual source where the Nile meets Lake Victoria, the second largest lake in the world. It was another surreal and beautiful moment. We then ate lunch and visited some Austin friends who were also adopting and in Jinja for their stay. One moment I will never forget is when we were leaving the restaurant where we had met our friends and saw a little boy sleeping on the sidewalk. He appeared homeless, hungry, and tired. He was so young. L gave me some money while he and D walked to the car, I woke the boy and handed it to him. He was so startled and overwhelmed. As he watched us drive away and we watched him, all I could do was pray. Pray that God would love him and use today to let him know He is always watching over him. I do not know the boys name, we never even exchanged words, but the impression of his face will forever be in my heart. I pray God is using others to love on and touch his life. I pray he knows or comes to know the Lord one day.

entrance to the source of the nile

boat ride with our wonderful friend "S"

source of the nile island

fishermen

gorgeous day

ice cream...he loved the banana and the chocolate

On Monday we took all of our documents to the embassy and they gave us an interview appointment that afternoon. We took a nap with D and then headed back for our appointment. After over two hours of waiting we were seen for our appointment. At the end of the interview the lady told us we could come back in a few days and pick up his visa. Meaning we could go home. I began crying. The moment the judge told us we were legally a family was amazing, but I will also never forget this moment. It meant we could go HOME!!! We were so excited for our family to meet D and begin our new life at home. God was so very faithful.

celebrating having D's visa in hand

The next few days were spent enjoying our favorite foods and places, such as the ARA swimming pool. We said bye to a dear little boy at our guesthouse who will always hold a special place in our hearts...I cried at that too. We rode a boda one last time - a boda is a small motorcycle that we would all three fit on including a driver. These are pretty dangerous and I swore I would never ride one, but when you are there for six weeks, some anxieties fall to the wayside. We would only ride them very short distances and it was fun! We also went to the fabric market which was CRAZY and overwhelming. I did not even know what I wanted/needed Ugandan fabric for, but I just wanted some of everything from my son's country so we endured the crazy.

Our last day was spent eating a rolex for the last time (omelet rolled in chipati), lunch with friends, one last boda ride, letting D chase the chickens at our guesthouse one last time, making a rap video to "Coming Home" by Diddy, napping, eating one last Ugandan dinner, and going to the airport. It was perfect.

one last boda ride

goofy boy

playing at the guesthouse

chickens d would harass

oh...by whole tilapia you mean...WHOLE tilapia (last dinner)

visa in hand, pjs on, backpack on = ready for the airport

ready for the airport

As we headed to the airport I could not help but be sad. I took in everything as I sat in the back of the car holding D. All this time I had wanted to get home, to start our new life, and yet now when we were actually getting to do that, I was sad. I was sad that we would no longer encounter people that knew D's language, that until we come back one day, he will never be surrounded by people who live in this cultural and are like him. I was sad to leave our driver "S" - he had been so much more than a driver to us, he was a friend, protector, guide, and truly loved our son. I cried as we told "S" bye and walked into the airport.

at the airport

D did wonderful on the plane rides, much better than we ever dreamed. On the first flight we sat beside a lady who had helped start the baby home D was from, that was a very special moment. D did insist on dragging our rolling carry on (that was twice the size of him) through all the airports, which was pretty hilarious.

Once we got to Atlanta and through customs we celebrated with my husband's favorite...McDonald's! It was so surreal to be back in America. Back to air conditioning, good food, materialism, and stares. The good with the bad...we were back.

ready to fly

second flight...all laughs

inventive = busted lip later :(

plane that brought D to America

first mcdonalds

As we landed in Austin I woke up D so he could be welcomed by all our friends at the airport. He was very tired considering it was the middle of the night Ugandan time, so he was more shy and a little crankier than normal. As we came down the escalators into the arms of family and friends it was yet another, surreal moment. I am aware I use the word "surreal" way to much in these posts but that is the only way to describe most of these days. It felt amazing to be back home and for D to be greeted by such an amazing group of people. I kept watching D's reaction to everything and waiting for him to just crumble - I mean how could he not...this had been the most overwhelming 30 hours. But he didn't. He was such a trooper and only broke down over the car seat which was to be expected.

 Airport Photographs by Erika Knox Photography

People say hindsight is 20/20 and I completely agree. Looking back we can see why we needed to be in Uganda for six weeks. We see the bonding of our family that God orchestrated and graciously allowed during this time. We see the many faces of people we would not have met and come to love had our time been cut short. There were times it was hard to see His plan, but I am SO grateful for His plan as it was better than anything we could have ever written for ourselves.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12