Why we do not share HIS story

I remember the day we got the call about D. The day we really became parents. The day we began longing to be united with our son that was an ocean away. It was a wonderful and hard day, all at the same time. On the one hand, we had been praying for him for over a year and it was so exciting to know about him and see a picture of him in the days that followed. On the other hand, it was so hard to hear his story. To know why adoption was a necessity for him.

In the beginning we shared a lot of details from his story, really, because we did not know better. There were so many people who gathered around us on our adoption journey. Friends and family who supported, prayed for, gave financially - we wanted them to know him too and to share in the story of redemption God was already writing. But if we could take anything back in our adoption journey, THIS would be it. We would not share his story, and if we did, it would only be to immediate family.

As I have shared recently, one of the hardest things about toddler adoption is they do not understand what adoption is or know their story. It is something as an adoptive parent you share with them in age appropriate and time sensitive ways. So who am I to tell others their story before they know it all themselves? Who am I to share details that they may not want others to know?

This is HIS story. Not mine. I write on here about my journeys in being his mother, but the details of his adoption, those are HIS.

So if you have, or do, ask a question that is something we have decided only should be shared by him, please do not be offended if I say I cannot tell you. It is not because we do not trust you or because we do not want you to know. It is not because we do not want to share with you all God has done in his life already in four precious, short years. It is just because it is not our story to share. And if we did share personal information with you in those beginning days, I beg you to tuck them away in your heart and not share them with anyone.

As D grows we will encourage him to share the parts of his story that he feels led to share. I believe God has big plans for my sweet boy and sharing his story could possibly be in that plan, but I am excited to see what God has in store on His own time, not on mine.

And dear prospective adoptive parent, there are a million things I could tell you about this crazy, wonderful journey of adoption, but one of the biggest things I would say is, no matter how excited or heartbroken you are when you get that call with your match, let their story be theirs.