Living in Community

Our church is preaching a series on community (click here to listen) and it really has me thinking of how much God has blessed my journey in Austin, so I wanted to share that with you...

I grew up in a small town in east Texas where all of my immediate family was, at most, thirty minutes from my parent's house. I assumed I would live there my entire life and my children would grow up there. I would marry someone from the same town, or at least only a few towns over, my children would go to the same schools I did and my childhood friends would be our family friends. It is funny how God often has different plans.


My Family

When I graduated high school, I had my heart set on attending The University of Texas at Austin (HOOK'EM), so I moved to Austin that fall. I was miserable. Maybe because I was in an honors chemistry program while majoring in pre-med and I had never even really studied before. Maybe because for the first time I was on my own and my roommate situation wasn't the greatest. It could have been that I went from a super conservative town of a little over five thousand to an ultra liberal town of over one million. But mostly it was because my family was not there. I could not see them everyday, or every week for that matter, and it was hard. After that first year, I was still determined to move back and live as close to my family as possible.

But the next year things began to change.  I did not miss my family any less, and I am convinced I never will, but I did began to to warm up to Austin.  Not because anything in Austin changed, although I did change my major, but because I found my three best friends and began to develop a community here.  These girls have seen me at my worst and best over the last eight years.  They continue to love me, pray for me, encourage me, and just live life with me.  God has only strengthened our bond, even in the midst of our lives starting to drastically change, and I am so very grateful. 

Fantastic 4 Then

Fantastic 4 Now

L had a similar college experience, in the way that he developed some pretty amazing relationships with friends. When I met him I was overwhelmed with this group of guys and how close they all are. The way they are intentional in spending time with one another and being there for each other. I am grateful to be in a marriage were my husband has such a great support system and I am so blessed to know them and their wives!


Some of their group at our wedding

When we got married, we started trying "young married" community groups from our church, in order to form community with couples like us. Our community group now meets weekly and is such a tremendous blessing to us. They too live life with us daily in Austin. We comfort each other and provide, because for most of us, we understand that family is not as close as we would love for them to be. So we become that as much as we can and love on each other. We strive to love like Christ would, we serve, we pray, we have FUN! 

In starting this adoption journey, we once again sought out a community we could travel this journey with. Our adoption group meets a few times a month and has become such a wonderful blessing. We are all traveling a journey that requires much prayer, patience, and encouragement and I could not imagine going through this without them. They are a constant reminder of God's purpose for this life and how to unselfishly loves others.

And finally, last summer, we did have some family move to Austin! L's cousin E and his wonderful wife R moved here. We were very excited, but I honestly underestimated what a blessing God was giving me. R has become one of my best friends and accountability partner. She is a beautiful example of a wife, Jesus lover and friend. God continues to bless our friendship in unexpected ways.

E and R

So through all of this I have come to love Austin. I have also learned to love Austin's knack for music and food. I have learned that Austin is beautiful and I hope that God wants us here forever. The community we have here is unlike anything I have experienced. It supports us and makes us more Holy for Him, which is our ultimate goal.

Dowtown Austin

But there is still that ever so strong longing that comes over me ever time I drive back to east Texas to visit my family. A longing to be able to drive over to my parent's for dinner on a random night, a desire to be able to see my family so much more - because nothing in the whole world will ever replace the feeling of being close to them. However, in all this, I know God has blessed this journey and will continue to do so. 

So, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, make sure you have community. It is what we were made for and will change your life. Jesus did it and we should too.

Do you want biological children?

This has been the most popular question since we announced we were adopting, understandably, and the answer is yes, but please let me explain.

I acted as an adult at the age of five.  Playing with dolls and pretending I was their mother was the least of it.  I "mentored" a classmate in kindergarten - what teacher lets a five year old mentor by the way? One day I played sick so I could stay home to call her mother and discuss how she needed to work with her daughter on her alphabet; sorry for that embarrassment mom and dad.  My poor sister, who is six years younger, has always had a bossy older sister.  If only I could count the times my mom told me "I am her mother, not you."  It has always been in my heart and soul to be a mother, even at a young age. I have dreamed of the days when I would hold my child, much like I dreamed of my wedding day.  After L and I got married, I began wondering what our children would look like, what features they would have of his and mine.  And that has not changed.  We very much want to have biological children, if that is the Lord's plan for us and will bring Him glory.

So if we want to have biological children, shouldn't we try that first, and if we cannot conceive, THEN choose adoption?  Well, you see, God chose adoption for us now.  He has so evidently laid this on our hearts and we are being obedient to His calling.  We believe He will take care of the rest, and bring biological children in His timing, tomorrow or 30 years from now.  And yes, that would make me 56 years old, but have you read about Sarah in the Bible? 

So our thinking and dreaming has shifted some for the time being.  I am not wondering if our child will be lucky enough to have L's tan skin and curly hair (yes for those of you who have only seen his buzz cut, those hairs were precious blond curls as a child). 

Baby L

Our dreaming has changed from ourselves, to our child, that is likely conceived.  If he/she is not born yet, prayers that their mother is able to access clean water and food, that she is comforted and loved, that even in a third world country she is able to somehow receive care.  If he/she is born that they are safe and have access to care, that their mother is comforted as her heart must be breaking at the thought of leaving her child, and that they do not have to sleep on the floor.  I think about whether they are consoled when they cry and if they have enough to eat.  My mind is constantly coming up with new details to pray for.  I dream of a dark skinned baby that is perfect; perfect because God has chosen them for our family. 

As we wait for the paper progression, we are left dreaming of our child, dreaming of the moment we see them and embrace them.  Thinking of the ways they will light up our family and accomplish so much.  Hoping for the day they come to know the Lord as their Savior.  We still have all the same dreams, biological or not, this is our child and we so eagerly await the joining of him/her to our family.

Coincidence? I think not.

As we began researching adoption we prayed, and prayed, and prayed.  We believed that the Lord was laying this on our hearts and providing the way, but this was a huge decision to make and we had so many questions.  Should we really adopt before having biological children? What country was He calling us to? Was it possible financially?  Should we choose an agency or go independent?  What agency? How would our friends and family feel?

So we did the only thing we knew to do, we prayed, researched, joined an adoption group, and prayed more.  The week of March 7th we began to ask God for real confirmation, like Moses and the burning bush, could He please confirm this to us in a way that we could not deny.  And oh did He ever!  The next seven days were filled with more confirmation than either of us have received, and it still continues.  We want to share all He did so glory can be given to Him, so you can understand why we could not deny this process at this time, and also to encourage you through all He has shown us.  Ask God and He will deliver.

• This may seem trivial to many of you, but that week two of our favorite television shows were on adoption.  Adoption was not just mentioned, it was the topic of the entire show.
• We saw an interview with Sarah Silverman in which she was asked about having biological children - she then advocated for the children of Africa and adoption, not because she cannot have biological children, but because there are 145 million orphans in this world that need a family.
• We received an unexpected bonus check that was for the exact amount we needed to start the adoption process.  This check was unexpected because it was supposed to be paid two weeks prior so we assumed we were not getting it, but then it appeared, the exact week we were asking for confirmation.
• People at our work places began asking about biological children and we were given the opportunity to share our hearts for adoption.
• I found out a coworker of mine, whom I had not known until now, had just completed two Ugandan adoptions just a few months before.  There were only 62 Ugandan adoptions in 2010 in total.  He also started a nonprofit for children in Uganda, please check it out at http://www.sixtyfeet.org/.
• Our dear friend/cousin and my accountability partner Rachel V. got her hair cut by someone who was adopted and shared their story with her that week.
• Literally everywhere we turned was adoption.

As the weeks progress, God keeps giving...

• I was working a trade show in Baltimore a few weeks later and a lady walked up asking if our video solution worked in Africa because she was moving there.  I asked her why she was moving to Africa and she went on to say her husband was working for the US Embassy there.  I shared our adoption story and she gave me all her contact information saying they would help us in any way possible.  This is huge because often getting your child's US Visa is a hard task.
• My mom found out there are two previous missionaries (from our child's homeland) living in my small hometown, of all places, Mabank, TX.  They travel back on mission trips each year.
• A children's choir (from our child's homeland) performed at our church on Easter (talk about tears!).

There are so many more, but these are the ones I was able to write down.  Some of these things may seem like coincidence to you, but to us, they are so very evidently the Lord.  If they had happened over the span of our lives, maybe coincidence, the fact they have happened the moment we began specifically asking for them, so undeniably the Lord.  So even without having all the answers, we have no doubt this is His will, so we move forward in Him.

It is so awesome to serve a King that not only lays things on our heart for His Kingdom, but so confidently provides the way. We are excited to see all the Lord continues to do and teach us through this process.  We are confident this adoption will be used to make us more holy for Him, and for that, we are so grateful.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.  Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?  If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

Matthew 7:7-11

Our Adoption Announcement

Dear friends and family,

We wanted to share some very important news with you…WE ARE PREGNANT…paper pregnant that is! :)  Through months of the Lord’s leading and a great amount of prayer and discernment, we have begun the process of adopting a child internationally. Last week we submitted our first application and paperwork to our agency, of what we are told will be minimal compared to the months ahead, thus the term “paper pregnant”.  We received news today that we were approved! After much prayer, we have told the agency our application is for a boy or girl under the age of three.We are estimating that the process will take 12 months to complete, but ultimately we are trusting in the Lord’s timing and provision as we move forward. 

We know what you might be thinking, “Can they not have biological children?” – the answer is, we have no idea because we have not tried.  God has given us both a passion for adoption and to move forward with the adoption of our child at this time, before having biological children, so we are following His lead.  We are honored God has chosen us for this task to be parents and excited about the journey that lies ahead.  We trust that His plan for our family is far better than anything we could plan ourselves and we are blessed beyond belief with the life He continues to pour out before us. 

You also may be thinking “why adoption?”  We believe that Christ has so graciously chosen to adopt us into His kingdom – in John 14:18 Jesus says to His disciples at The Last Supper, “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.”  We believe Christ has adopted us and will complete that adoption when He takes us to Heaven one day.  His adoption of us has very much influenced our passion to give an orphan a forever family.  We also believe He calls us to care for orphans, and in our case has called for our care to be adoption - James 1:27 says “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  Over the past few months God has so graciously confirmed that this is His will for our family in too many ways to count and we are confident He has ordained every step of this journey. 

If you feel led, we would be honored for you to join us in praying for this journey and our child.  Here are a few of the things the Lord has laid on our hearts:

• May every step of this process bring glory to God alone – that every breath that is taken in this process would be led by and prompted by Him.
• The international adoption process can be cumbersome, but our prayer is that God would prepare the hearts of our future judge and both US and international officials that handle our adoption.
• Preparation for parenthood, likely of a toddler!  Our parents have both greatly exceeded the call of Godly parents, which we are so grateful for, and hope we can be half of what they have been to us.
• International adoption is very costly – prayers for God to provide these finances in His timing.
• Our child – it is likely that our child is conceived, if not already born.  We are praying for his/her safety, food and clean water, health, someone who loves Jesus to love on him/her, and that God would place him/her in the perfect place for our agency to know them.
• Above all, and most importantly, that God’s perfect Will would be done and we would be obedient to all He calls us to do.

We are grateful for each and every one of you.  Thank you for being such wonderful family and friends.

In Christ’s Love,
The R Family