Please Ask Too Many Questions

Along this adoption journey I often feel like a five year old, the one that asks "why?" every five minutes. I ask A LOT of questions. I have been waiting for someone to tell me to stop...and in a way, that sort of happened.

I talked about some bumps in the road we hit a few weeks ago. I was vague for a few reasons. Mostly because it was not resolved but also because it was not fun to even think about, much less write about.

Basically, we asked questions of our agency and they could not answer them. We knew things going on that they claimed to not know. These questions were about ethics. When they did answer them, they were defensive. We felt we were asking too many questions and we needed to stop or move on.

After this happened, to ensure our process was completely ethical, we had to leave the agency we had been with for eight months. It meant we lost money. It meant walking out when we were so very close to being referred after waiting over four months. It meant being angry and frustrated. It meant crying and praying and praying and praying - getting quiet and alone with Jesus and asking hard questions of ourselves.

The reason we are walking this road of adoption is because we believe God has called us to do so. You can read our adoption announcement to learn more about why we feel called to love on and adopt an orphan, but I want you to know, we really are only in this to adopt an orphan. There is no other option for us. Many years from now, when our child asks why, we have to tell them they were a true orphan and we moved every mountain we could to ensure that was the case. That there was no way for them to be with their biological family. This completely breaks my heart for Little R. I hate it. More than anything I wish his/her family could and would love on, take care of, and raise him/her.

Friends, if you are considering adoption, which I would love nothing more, please know the children and ethics have to be the top priority. ASK A MILLION QUESTIONS and demand answers. Do not enter this journey thinking you do not have to ask too many questions because your friends loved that agency or the people you are working with are Christians or you cannot fathom anyone doing something unethical in adoption...it is adoption after all, right?

Right. It is adoption. It is supposed to be a good thing. But the truth is we live in a fallen world that desperately needs Jesus. We mess up everyday. We fail Him constantly. And certain things in adoption are no different. Just because adoption is of the Lord, does not mean everyone involved is perfect or they always make the best choices.

At the same time, do not let this deter you from adoption. Just because it is messy and scary, it does not mean we should sit back and let children continue on without families and someone to love them. It does mean you ask questions and get answers. You do everything in your power to make sure the children you adopt are true orphans.

So our journey hit a bump, but in some ways it seems to have not skipped a beat. God certainly has this all under His control and timing. We hope to have some exciting news soon...stay tuned :)