I love long night sleeps and naps. Eyes shut, thoughts off, all of it.
I LOVE it. I always have.
Then three years ago our sweet boy came into our lives. And it was wonderful and messy and hard and amazing. Many things I was prepared for and most things I was not. Like losing my beloved friend sleep.
Then we had a newborn. I went from losing some sleep to getting some sleep, and that sleep was so light even sweet newborn sleep giggles would wake me.
Because I love my sleep so much, it was easy for this lack of one of my biggest pleasures to cause me frustration. It took its toll on my parenting, my marriage, myself.
When I would gather with friends and inevitably we would begin talking about our children, my lack of sleep or trying to find solutions for it, were not far from my tongue.
And sleep is not the only woe of parenthood. Not the only challenge. How about the incessant talking? The one million questions in a day. The hold me, hold me, hold me.
But lately I have been convicted. I need to stop complaining. I need to stop my frustration and find JOY in these moments.
Because one day, in what I am told feels like the blink of an eye, these precious babies are going to sleep for way longer than I want them to. Far into the weekend days and I am sure I will then miss the time I could be spending with them.
I know they are going to talk less. That one day it will be like pulling teeth to get them to tell me even one thought in their head. That they may no longer ask me "why?" about everything, but will quietly come to their own conclusions.
Someday they will walk into the kitchen all alone and get their own food and drinks, without asking.
And finally one day they will walk out of my house for the last time as a person who lives there and just become a visitor. They will start their own life and own journeys without me there every bit of the day.
So for today, I choose JOY. I choose to find joy in what can feel like the mundane moments of motherhood and treasure these sweet days.
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