My Prayer for Little R

Little R,

I think of you often. No, I do not know you yet, but I do think of you.

When I am hungry, I think of you and pray your tummy is full.

A mosquito bit me the other night and I thought of you. I pray you are protected from their evil bite and what they carry.

When I am sad, I hope that you have someone to wipe your tears. To hold you close until I can get to you.

As I get in bed at night, I wonder where you lay your head.

I went to your dad's soccer game yesterday and my feet got dirty (you will soon learn that your mama hates the feeling of dirty feet) - as I washed my feet it reminded me of you. I hope there is someone to wipe the dirt from you.

Today in church we sang Matt Redman's song Never Once. More than anything, it is my prayer for you. I hope you can feel, even at such a young age, that our Lord is with you. I pray one day, many years from now, you will be able to sing this song with thankfulness and joy.

Never once did we ever walk alone 

Never once did You leave us on our own 

You are faithful, God, You are faithful 

My dear son/daughter, our God is faithful. He is watching over you and this entire process.

He loves you. More than me, more than anyone.

She Was Perfect

She had dark, warm skin and big beautiful eyes, although she was frail and tiny. She was shy but loved her mama. Once our eyes met she had no interest in what was around her, only in me. When I held her tight I felt a closeness, one like I have  never known. We wanted desperately to get her home, to our home where she would be forever. She loved her daddy.

This is all from my dream two nights ago. I woke up more sad than I have in a long time. This dream encounter seemed so real. It was our child. I could touch and feel her. Yet I do not even know Little R.

It.

Was.

Weird.

The longing I felt when I woke up was so odd. And it only made me want to know Little R more. And let's be honest, the dream encounter was pretty idealistic and not filled with any possible negatives, but it seemed so real, even after I woke up.

I am not sure if this happens when you are pregnant. I would imagine it does since it is all you can think about, even though you try not to. But let me tell you, that certainly does not help with the waiting.

#weirdthingshappenwhenwaitingtoadopt

Maybe this was God's way of beginning to prepare me, maybe a match will be soon and maybe Little R is a girl. Maybe Little R was born or had a significant life change yesterday and that is why I dreamed of her. Maybe soon that dream will be real life.