Conviction In Pregnancy

If you have been around me at all the last eight months or so, it is no secret that pregnancy is not my favorite thing in the world. It has, by far, not been the most difficult pregnancy, but not the easiest either (if there is such a thing?!?). It seems a popular question for mommas-to-be is "How are you feeling?" - and unfortunately, I am not good at masking the truth on that one. Maybe because too many people must have masked the truth for me and now I think they are CrAzY! or is it because I find it hard to find the joy in it all?

This morning I was reading in Psalms and came across the scripture in chapter 139 - "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb"...and it hit me.

God is performing a miracle inside my body, creating life. Inside me is a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, future friend, wife, and mother. Inside me is a little girl that I pray will change the world for Jesus. And yet I complain?

When is the last time I heard of God doing miracles and complained? Miracles usually do not happen without some sort of pain or trial. Some enduring on someone's part. Pregnancy is no different. And neither was adoption.

The adoption process was full of waiting, disappointment, longing, sleepless nights, crying, pain, and delays. But God knew what He was doing. He performed miracle after miracle for us to know D and complete the adoption process. And now we sit on the other side enjoying His redemptive and healing power at work in our boy and family. It is more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed.

And so I was convicted this morning to find joy in these last eight weeks or so...and I am sure the sleepless, hard weeks that will follow. To endure this "race" with patience and focus on my King and all He is doing. To be grateful for the miracle He is performing and stand in awe that He has chosen me to carry this precious girl. As I have written before, it looks like parenting will just continue to make me more holy for Jesus :)

So now I do my best to change my perspective. To enjoy these last weeks with P growing inside me and getting to be a part of this divine miracle of creation.